What did you learn? Dos & Don'ts of Communication

Here's a list of things that come to my mind, feel free to add more:

 You are your 7C's of communication.  (Too bad I can't recall them if asked to)

 How many can you count in 10 seconds?
In case you have forgotten, don't worry. There is a good chance that a mistake at  work would echo them out. Be clear, concise, concrete, correct, coherent, complete & courteous. 

You should pay attention to non-verbal communication. (Hard to forget those awkward faces)

You should not stand in-front of the projector while speaking.

You must use the same register as your audience. (Golden words for a geek)

If you like someone and want to know them more, ask open-ended questions. (Jake & I are just good actors.)

You must be punctual. (2.3.5 - Role A was not talking about an imaginary person)

You must dress up like a cock for your interview if you forgot to use parallel structures in your resume.

You need to remain calm and confident in your interview, maintaining good eye contact throughout.

You can use a wiki for your projects, if you don't have me using the same wiki.

You should chose to fight one battle at a time instead of opening up many fronts whether it's a project or a part of a project.

You should not choose funny visuals for a serious presentation.

These are just a few things, what else do you remember?

Un-finished: My fear of blogging

If you ask people about their biggest fear, the most common response would be ‘Public speaking’. More people are afraid to speak in front of a crowd than those scared of dying any moment. Although, I am not afraid anymore of making a fool of myself in front of people in person, blogging remains an unconquered domain.

I am freaked out by the fact that whatever I put up online once will potentially be accessible for aliens descending on earth 20 years later. Whenever, I sat out to write something for the blog, I ended up thinking too much. This isn’t new, when facebook launched status updates, putting a one-liner took half-an hour at times.

It took a while for me to get over that, and now with the launch of facebook places, I am again not comfortable compromising my privacy. I engage in online discussions but that usually happens in a secure or password protected environment. In the public space, I try not to leave personally identifiable information and where I have to make a point, I use pseudonyms to blur trails.

A couple of years ago, when I first thought about blogging, I ended up concluding that I must never blog. I got the domain ‘neverblog.com’ as a statement.

Having spent too much time on facebook, and social media as a part of work, I resolved for the New Year that I’d spend more time talking to people in person than jumping from profile to profile like an addict. When this course started, my plans were thwarted.

I was taken back. But hey, I’d finally be able to get over my blogophobia. Looking back, I realize that I did not make full use of the opportunity. For doing this regularly with supportive peers, I’d have had the chance to make mistakes without serious consequences. Alas, I’d have to learn the hard way.

I am not certain if a similar approach during the course would have been a nuisance. However, if I’d do it again, I’d motivate myself by setting small and more frequent goals. I’d try to get to get at least a 50-100 words post up every three days just to get into the habit. And would convert them to longer pieces once or twice a month.

I can’t believe that I did not participate actively in blogs for these lame yet deep-rooted inhibitions. My fears are exaggerated, if not false. Blogging gives you a great platform to project your voice, get instant feedback on your ideas, meet new people and seek help. Blogging with your real name gives you credibility that’s hard to get otherwise. If I practice and get better at it, I’d reduce the risk I associate with blogging.

If that doesn’t work I would keep the blog password protected at start till I get in to a habit. 

Did you face a similar challenge? Do you plan to make your blog sustainable?

Get Pithy or be hard to get! - Final Reflection

If someone asks you about the match last night, how do you respond?

Before taking this course, I’d have gone on to describe the pre-match ceremonies in candid detail, describing how the boy accompanying Christiano Ronaldo had the same hairdo as him. Then, I’d tell how a fan’s hat flying over into the field delayed the kick-off. An enthusiastic description of the near misses in the first five minutes would follow. Imagine if that someone were you, before long, you’d have heard my 2 hr long summary of a 90-minute match.

That’d have been my honest response, had I missed any details, I’d have gone back and covered it for you for I find the beauty of life in these little details, and love to share the joy I experience.

This course taught me, that doing so, I’d be making an unqualified assumption.

My response could have easily been any of the following:

• Mourinho!!!
• Real Madrid Won!
• Real walloped Barca 3 naught.
• 3-Nil.
• Christiano Ronaldo scored a hat-trick, and Barca missed four sure shots.
• First half was a drag. Barca had 65% possession and couldn’t convert anything. Awesome save by Raul in the 33’ minute. 2 minutes into the second half, Ronaldo chipped one besides the right post, Barca panicked and bucketed two from outside the dee in stoppage-time.

These, and so many other combinations are equally appropriate if that’s what you wanted to know. If I am uncertain, it'd be better to err on the side of being pithy.

There are so many little things I learnt over the course of eighteen weeks, if there were one thing I wouldn’t want to forget, it’s the lesson that my message must be tailored for my audience.

Oral Presentation - Personal Review

After the feedback I received from Peer Teaching, Oral presentation provided me with another opportunity to take the stage and engage people. I learnt at the start of the semester that I fall into a drone and lose people’s attention, thus I considered that if I were to improve only one thing, I’d focus on vocal variety. Audio-visuals were left for the end to be improved upon, if time allowed.

Looking back, I identified that without setting boundaries for what I should say, I end up digressing. Once on stage, I get the feeling that it’s my only chance to blurt everything out. Each little detail appears equally important, and trying to cover every angle, I lose track of time and my energy does not convert to an effective delivery.

With all this in mind, I was clear that I would practice my voice over and over till I get right. I tried several times, and ended up stumbling upon certain words in each sentence. This frustrated me. I went on and wrote the whole speech, so that I can mark which words to elongate for emphasis, what to say loud, where to pause, and how to make smooth transitions linking one point to another.

The result was horrible. I stuttered, and ended up losing the train of thought way too often. I stopped halfway, went through the annotated script again and confidently started scratch. I jumbled up the first line, I was getting worse.  Mark, Greg, and Vanessa looked incredulous. 

What was going on?

After consulting my team, I got rid of the script, and trimmed it to a couple of keywords per point that would link up logically. What a relief. 

What was I doing wrong?

My English speaking skills are not as well developed as my writing skills. Forcing my self to do so was as naïve as to try drawing a beautiful landscape just because I can visualize it. I might be able to draft a decent sketch but I would surely mess up if I paint the colors in and go into details.

Once on stage, I knew that I had my team's confidence, I ignored the little details, let the thoughts flow naturally, and it felt better than anytime I had practiced. 

The Legend of Rajnikanth

Whether you have heard the legend or not, tell me one thing. Do you find the following clips to be hilarious or heroic?

Before I saw these, I thought Kung Fu hustle was funny. No more.

Growing up admiring the likes of Rowan Atkinson (Mr. Beans), Jim Carry, Robin Williams, and more recently Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali G, Borat), I was humbled by the comic genius behind these scenes. Overjoyed, I went on to share the clips with my friends. They were blown away. They laughed, rolled on the floor, and some ended up circling around their room holding their bellies replaying the clips for the bazillionth time.

However, a friend from Germany replied, ”Never make fun of him in front of South Indians unless you want your bones broken”.

“Why would I? I’m a fan!” I responded, he makes Jackie Chan look clumsy.

My friend went on to tell me about a fight he saw at his campus. I didn’t believe him.

Six months later, a lazy lunchtime discussion about ‘badass heroes’ lit up on mentioning Rajnikanth. My friend from Chennai was a die-hard fan. I could see him getting animated as I narrated an action sequence. I couldn’t help but notice that the passion we shared for our comic idol wasn’t the same as two shrek fans would have. It seemed as if I was talking about lady gaga, and he was describing Obama. Intrigued, I zipped up my mouth, and listened.

No sooner I discovered that to him and his friends, Rajni wasn’t a comic idol, he is an idol, a demi-god. He isn’t their Chuck Norris. He is real. The way Rajni walks, talks, takes off his shades, sits, stands, speaks, and hammers the thugs is sacred. He is a style statement stronger than Elvis or Michael Jackson. Unlike anyone else alive, he commands respect for each of his actions.

Poking fun at him is profane. For you, he might be humorous but for millions around the world, he is epic, a living legend. He’s more honorable than any dignitary, Nobel laureate, or even war heroes who ever lived. Millions would sacrifice their lives for him.

He defies reason for he’s not an action hero. He is Rajnikanth.

Rescue 101: How do I dive across a communication gap?

"Guys, are we in line for Thursday's presentation?"

We are into the third week of the project, and the nods I get are far less than reassuring. With a quick glance across the room, I shrug off the thought that something is amiss.

Everyone in the team is working tirelessly to get their tasks done. I must have faith in my team's abilities and curb my anxiety. "All is well. All is well", I chanted.

Wait. How can a problem automatically solve itself?

They have been busy the past three days and we haven't gotten anywhere with the game yet. Naive on my part as the product manager to not have seen this coming. The tension in the room is too much for a deadline three days away. I leave the building to reflect over what I noticed three days ago.

Karl, our lead artist was uneasy committing to this week's deliverables. He knows how much time does each task require but remains clueless about what to do. He's looking up to Geoff, the game designer, for a direction to proceed. They have a conversation. The game designer articulates his vision for the game. He goes on to describe the experience he has in mind, tells him about the story and its characters. In the end, he lists the loops in the story that do not quite add up. Karl listens intently, and instead of filling in the gaps in the story, he suggests an alternate plot. Geoff insists on his own approach asking Karl to explore it further with sketches & mockups and meet again to review what comes out of it. Hoping that they might get some inspiration once they have a drawing in hand. Karl reluctantly agrees with Geoff but he is not convinced.

Today, three days have gone. Karl needs to get the art style approved by the clients. Geoff, the vision holder of the game, is pressed to finalize the core game mechanics of the game. The two haven't had a real conversation since their meeting. How could I have ignored that? I must have noticed the gap increasing between the two as their communication broke down.

On my way back, I examine the possible causes. Geoff has too many things on his plate, he's working with the programmers to iron out the gameplay. The mechanics work. Good. Geoff has been struggling with the storyline, stretching himself to find something befitting the mechanics. He must be feeling let down by Karl. Geoff must be feeling frustrated at not seeing any results in the absence of any objections. Being the nice guy he is, he won't go and boss around Karl to get an answer.

What about Karl? Karl is a sensitive person. He was certainly not impressed by Geoff the other day. Thinking about it, I go towards his room. Before I get there, he comes over to me and says "I need to talk".

He is in a dilemma. He finds the game designer's approach to be pretty clichéd. Certain parts do not make any sense. Moreover, with a background in animations, he's used to working with a a script. Geoff keeps on changing the details after each testing session. This frustrates Karl, he has to go back to square one with each addition or subtraction. He appreciates the hard work Geoff is putting in and then exclaims that exposing the faults in his design would only demotivate the designer. Karl wants to rescue the project, but doesn't want to talk. He is afraid of offending him.


I have two and a half days. How do I, as a product manager, proceed from here-on?

How do I get myself to write?

Let's write something interesting.

Write what?

I don't know.

Don't you have any ideas?

I do. In fact, I have many ideas.

What happens then?

I think of one and develop it a bit. For instance, If I've got to write about the joy of going to a park, I'd start from the great time I had last Saturday. An eye-blink later, my mind drifts off from the park down the street to the mammoth Disneyland in California. It furtively sneaks into the 'All Stars Parade' in Paris as a friend narrated and then hops over to the stories I remember word by word from the Critter Country in Tokyo. Restless, it zooms through Autopia in Hongkong before it ends up a decade ago to a memory tanned by the humid summers in Magic Kingdom, Orlando. All of a sudden, I have so much to write about.

Isn't that too much?

It is. Precisely. I ask myself if all these stories are interesting? They all are. Certainly, aren't they? "I should pick the one that's best for the audience", I counsel myself. What's best? Or, oh..should i write about the latest Disney resorts in Shanghai, that'd be fun. It goes on.

Every new idea gets to compete with so many brilliant ideas that I become a mind-wreck.

"Forget it, I'll give my mind a spin, and just write tonight.", I quip staring at the blank canvas.

The night, a day, two days, a week, two weeks, and nothing. What a spin!

Why?

I had but forgotten that writing comes from writing. If I want to write about the feeling of joy, it doesn't matter whether I write about that broken swing in the park or the Ferrari World in Dubai. Without a word on the paper, how many people will read me is a number of little value. There is no audience. No one cares what I write about, or how I write. My choice of words, my style, my command over grammar is of the least concern. Writing is easy. Writing is for me. Writing produces writing. I need to write.

What got me to write?

I wrote. I intended to write about Interpersonal Conflicts but this internal conflict griped me.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, try to understand what the poet William Stafforfd wrote for you:

....one should lower his standards until there is no felt threshold to go over in writing. It's easy to write. You just shouldn't have standards that inhibit you from writing....I can imagine a person beginning to feel he's not able to write up to that standard he imagines the world has set for him. But to me that's surrealistic. The only standard I can rationally have is the standard I am meeting right now....You should be more willing to forgive yourself. It doesn't make any difference if you are good or bad today. The assessment of the product is something that happens after you've done it.

What's your story? Tell me. How do you get yourself to write?